Breaking Cycles

So I find myself today in the same place where I said I'll never be. Not that it's surprising. I knew it was bound to happen. Keeping promises was never my forte. I have little self-control where it concerns my compulsion to do certain things. Every time the compulsion leads to undesirable consequences, I come up with very good arguments to restraint myself. As luck would have it, I wouldn't heed those arguments and make better arguments in favor of keeping the old behavior.

How then do you break a cycle? My best bet is to develop a new albeit healthier and more worthwhile cycle. One that wouldn't put you at the mercy of another individual. Something that will not take you away from the real world. Anything that will not lead you to perceive yourself as less interesting or inadequate.

Someday and maybe soon enough, I will be able to stop myself. When that happens, I will look at the faces of those people, objects and activities that entrapped me with a sense of triumph and relief. But for the meantime, I have to end these relationships and activities one by one. I will, just watch me.